My feeling when I read this; YES being a strong person does make a strong/better parent!! hands down. You have to be strong to teach strong. Everything I’ve been through, good and bad I’ve gotten through having strength. Strength is a word every parent needs to possess! Not just to deal in bad situations, but to be strong as a parent. Saying no and having consequences seems to be hard for most of today’s parent population. You can’t just be a friend or want to be the good guy! Your a parent first.
Seeing the issues my daughters seem to have with other children for the most part to me seems to be because the other children aren’t being raised by a parent having strength. Or by parents divorced who are so busy and overcome with life they dont make the time to parent. You have to raise your children! They just don’t float thru life on their own. Our JOB as a parent is to raise a happy, well adjusted, productive adult to thrive on their own in today’s society. To raise them having goals, morals, values and standards for themselves!
I think people are just having kids to ” have kids”. By that I mean, they say oh let’s get pregnant and have kids or having unplanned pregnancies not knowing the extent of their job as a parent to come. Not thinking about what that means and they wind up “raising” kids who aimlessly go thru life because they have no plan to parenting these children. They wind up children don’t know there goals, what kind of person do you want to help mold your child as? Do you want them to respect other people, to be productive and happy, to have an idea what they want out of life? Its hard, yes… But that’s what parenting is. The reward? To see your child happy, strong and productive as a good person! But the sad part of such a big percentage of these people don’t realize or think about what their JOB as a parent is. Sadly this seems to be leading to children now in society without morals, values of other people and so on…. I think you get the point.
Working three jobs and being a single parent it’s hard to find time to make the time to spend one on one time with each daughter weekly.. To sit at night and say so how are you? What’s going on, anything you want to talk about? And truly listen to them when they do! Listening, advising, understanding their concerns, sympathizing and offering advice, and hugging them to at the end of the conversation reassure them of your support and love!!! Each of my daughters are very different and need different things. But doing these things with each of them is universal to any child to help them know they can come to their parent when they need advice or support with issues that may arise in their lives.
I raise my daughters to have values, goals and to be strong women. Know what you want, go after it. Don’t get hung up in the drama of these young girls who are your friends who dont know don’t know what strength is. The ones who don’t value themselves. The poor ones who do what other children tell them to do, who follow the cool kids and make bad choices. I tell my daughters sometimes being strong and making decisions that are good for YOU is hard and lonely. But I believe now at 14 and 16 my oldest are doing that. It makes me proud to see them making good choices. And when they are lonely for lack of friends I’m always there to listen.
I’m ending this on the fact that I’m not the perfect parent. So anyone reading this who may be thinking ” she thinks she’s the perfect parent”, I’m not. I’ve made my share of mistakes believe me! Especially coming thru depression and acknowledging it and overcoming it. I wasn’t there for them as I should have been dealing with a very serious emotional battle. BUT after dealing and overcoming it and acknowledging what I needed to change in myself to become a happy strong mother/ person it’s by far made me a better parent. My children see it and admire my strength. That’s worth my journey 🙂
Thanks for reading!